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やさしさで世界を包もう―感受性の強い人が秘めている力(TED)

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感受性の強い人が秘めている力:エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフ

感受性の強い人が秘めている力:エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフ

エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフは、感受性や共感力の強い起業家たちの指導をしています。感受性の強い人たちにまつわる一般的な俗説を、なぜ変える必要があるのか説明します(約16分)。

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感受性の強い人(HSP:highly sensitive person)とは

感受性が強い人と聞いて、どんなイメージを抱くでしょうか。一言で言うと『すべての感覚が過敏になっている状態』です。ほかにも以下の点が挙げられます。

  • 感情がいちいち大げさに湧き上がる
  • 尋常じゃないほど周りを気にかける
  • 他者の気持ちがよく理解できる

この項目を読んで、神経が過敏な人達と感じる人もいるでしょう。実際、HSPの人が人からよく言われる言葉は「気にしすぎだよ」というひとことです。世間でも、相手が感受性の強い人と聞くと揃ってレッテルを貼りたがります。実際にHSPの人はその感受性の強さから、ふだんの生活において以下のような障害が起こりがちです。

  • つねに頭が働いている
  • 怖い映画、また暴力的な映画を見れない
  • 旅先では“ちょうどいい”枕じゃないと眠れない

マイナス面ばかりがクローズアップされるHSPですが、実際にHSPであるエレナ・ ハーデッカーホフ自身も自分の事をそう思っていました。

よく「こんな風でいることに何のメリットがあるのか」と思っていました。

でも、感受性に恵まれている良さはじわじわとわかってきました。自分が他の人とすぐに深い人間関係を結べることや、正確なGPSのごとく、自分を導く鋭い直感の持ち主であることを愛せるようになりました。

I often wondered, “what good could it possibly do me to be this way?”

Well, the gifts of sensitivity slowly crept up on me. I’ve come to learn to love that I deeply and easily connect with others and also that I have a strong intuition that guides me like an infallible GPS.

エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフが、こんなふうに自分の事を思えるようになったのは、25歳の時に出会った一冊の本のおかげでした。

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HSPの特徴

エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフが出会ったのは、エレイン・アーロン著『ささいなことにもすぐに「動揺」してしまうあなたへ』という本です。この本のおかげにより、彼女は自分の持つ色鮮やかな世界に名前が付けられるようになりました。ほかにも、自分と同じように世界を見ている人がいることを知り、希望を持つことが出来たのです。

エレイン・アーロン氏はHSPの特徴について、遺伝的な特性として感覚処理感受性を持つ人であり、人口の15~20%はHSPであると著書に書いています。ほかにも、「DOES」という頭文字でHSPの主要な特徴をまとめています。

  • 「D」処理の深さ (Depth)
  • 「O」過剰な刺激 (Overstimulation)
  • 「E」共感 (Empathy)
  • 「S」些細なこと (Subtleties) への気づき

このように、HSPというのは感情的反応の域をはるかに越えている感覚であると、著書には書かれています。

HSPは、いわば研ぎ澄まされたセンサーです。微小な物事も残らずキャッチできます。

HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor; they can pick up on the minutest things.

このような超感覚を持っているため、HSPの人はこれまで世間から様々な誤解を受けていました。その言葉から内向的な性格と思われがちですが、HSPのうち30%は外向型です。加えて、HSPに占める男女比はともに約50%で半々で男女差もほとんどありません。

HSPだからといって、他人により劣っているわけでも優れているわけでも、ましてや“かまってちゃん”でもありません。ただ、ほかの人より少し違うというだけなのです。

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感受性が強いのは欠点ではない

HSPについて、いくつか気を付けなければいけない点があります。HSPだからといって、全員が同じ症状を共有しているわけではありません。また、HSPは病気でもありませんし、なろうと思ってなれるものでもありません。HSPは遺伝的な特性なのです。

HSPは情にもろい性格のため、現代社会で理想とされる最適化、客観化、自動化を鈍らせる人たちだと見られがちです。ですが、一昔前までは慈善家、哲学者、詩人、芸術家、画家として世間から広く受け止められ、その感受性を生かした社会貢献によって尊敬されていました。

HSPを持つ彼らの存在がなければ、世の中はもっとつまらなく味気ないものになっていたことでしょう。HSPがもれなく世界を変える天才だというわけではありません。しかし、HSPの人たちには、その心の奥底に関係性や意味を創り出そうという真摯な思いがあります。

なぜなら、彼らは他者の痛みに触れては自分の痛みとして感じ、忘れ去られた者の存在を高めたい不運な人々を救いたいと思うからです。

Because they feel every pain they see, they want to elevate the forgotten and save the misfortunate.

HSPを世の中に埋もれさせてはいけないと、エレナ・ ハーデッカーホフは言います。その理由は、繊細な創造物のない世界はあまりに味気ないからです。さらに、社会がHSPを広く理解してその価値を認めることは、何かと熱くなりがちな世界の温度を調節する効果があるともエレナ・ ハーデッカーホフは考えています。

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感受性の強みを生かす社会を

ここまで、HSPの性格や特徴を紹介してきましたが、HSP以外の人はみんな鈍感なわけではありません。人は、それぞれ繊細な一面を持っています。HSPはそれがちょっと極端に表れているだけなのです。

感受性が強いという言葉のイメージを払しょくし、感受性がもたらす多くの強みを生かす社会を作り上げれば、世の中はもっとやさしい世界になるでしょう。そのためにはまず、学校や会社などの公的レベルで改善すべきポイントがあるとエレナ・ ハーデッカーホフは指摘します。

そして親も教師もよかれと思って敏感な子にたくましさを求め、厳しい世間を渡り歩けるようにさせるのはもうやめましょう。

羊に無理やりオオカミの毛皮を着せようとしてはいけません。

And for parents and teachers alike, the often well-meant desire
to toughen them up, to survive in the big, mean world out there, needs to stop.

We should not try to force sheep into wolves’ clothing.

また、企業レベルでもどんな性格の人でも活躍できる環境をつくる必要があります。なぜなら、いまの他者を押しのけるシステムは、HSPの人たちにとっては過酷そのものだからです。HSPの人たちは競争を好まず、その性格のため出世も遅れがちです。

しかし、HSPの人たちをうまく起用すれば、会社も社会全体も、より良いものになるでしょう。敏感な人たち抜きでは、革新も整合性も、究極的には人間性も欠くおそれが出てくるからです。そうした社会にならないためにも、早急にHSPをより広く社会に受け入れる必要性があるのです。

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まとめ:HSPは世界を優しく包む力

HSPは自分の心情を揺さぶる外的要因から身を守ろうと、自分の内側に閉じこもりがちです。しかし、なにも隠れる必要はありません。なぜなら、HSPであろうと素晴らしい存在であることに変わりないからです。また、変だと思うこともありません。HSPの人が変なのではなく、強欲な世界がまかり通っているほうがおかしいのです。

人間である以上、私たちはみんな感受性や思いやりの経験によって結ばれていると信じています。また、HSPでなくても他者を気遣い、世の中を良くすることはできます。

I believe, as humans, we are all united by our experience
of sensitivity and empathy. Also I don’t believe you need to be an HSP to care and to make a difference.

HSPが持つ感受性の強さは、世界をやさしく包む力です。自らが生まれながらに授かった感受性をもっと自由につなげられるようになれば、私たちも、私たちが住むこの星も、もっと癒されることでしょう。

英語全文

I’m a highly sensitive person.

What is the first thing you think about when I tell you that? That I must be shy and introverted? Or perhaps very emotional? Or maybe even that you need to walk on eggshells around me?

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The common assumption about highly sensitive people is that we are somehow weak and fragile creatures who picked a losing ticket in the genetic lottery of life.

You can see this in action when you google the word “sensitive.” You will see images of toothache, irritated skin, wilted dandelions, and crying people. Sensitivity clearly has a PR problem.

Today I want to help change that.

Maybe by now you’re wondering what is it like to be highly sensitive? I invite you to imagine living with all your senses on high alert. You also have a vivid inner world, where all of your emotions are magnified. Sadness is a deep sorrow, and joy is pure ecstasy. You also care beyond reason and empathize without limits. Imagine being in permanent osmosis with everything around you.

Highly sensitive people often hear things like: “You are too sensitive,” “Stop taking everything to heart,” or my favorite, “You should really toughen up.” The fundamental message is clear: to be highly sensitive is to be highly flawed. I used to agree with that. I always thought I should come with some sort of warning sign or a disclaimer: “careful; highly sensitive.”

Now, let me share with you a few of the perks of being a highly sensitive person. For one, I have an intensely overactive mind, which means it’s impossible to switch off. That also means that insomnia is my best friend. As you can imagine, that is particularly handy the night before a TED talk.

Also I cannot watch scary or violent movies because the images haunt me forever I remember when I was a child, I watched the movie “Jaws”. It traumatized me so much that I was unable to go near a swimming pool, let alone the sea, for several years.

And, embarrassingly enough, I do my childhood nickname of “Princess of the Pea” proud when it comes to traveling and hotel beds. The mattress should be not too hard, not too soft; it has to be just right. My father once jokingly recommended that I should simply start traveling with my own bed and pillow to avoid any future travel hassles.

I often wondered, “what good could it possibly do me to be this way?” Well, the gifts of sensitivity slowly crept up on me. I’ve come to learn to love that I deeply and easily connect with others and also that I have a strong intuition that guides me like an infallible GPS.

It was only at the age of 25 that I came across a book that changed my life: “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Dr. Elaine Aron. I could finally put a name to my overwhelmingly technicolor experience of life, and it gave me hope that there were others like me. In this book she describes highly sensitive people, or in short HSPs, as people who have a genetic trait of sensory processing sensitivity. That’s quite a mouthful. And, surprisingly, 15 – 20% of the population is HSP.

Now, she uses the wonderful acronym “DOES” to summarize the core traits of HSPs. The “D” stands for “depth of processing”. As HSPs, we have a phenomenal ability to deeply analyze absolutely everything. My favorite example for this is what I call “Chinese restaurant syndrome.” Basically, we can take up to an hour to read the entire 40-page menu, despite the fact that we will very likely order our favorite dish anyway.

The “O” stands for “overstimulation”. We get quickly overwhelmed by the world around us. Now, I’m Bavarian and I love our Oktoberfest, but I actually have to leave after an hour because I get completely overpowered by the mix of roast chicken smells with candy floss, and the cacophony of songs and the massive crowds.

It is too much for my senses.

The “E” stands for “empathy”; HSPs feel what others feel. It’s like that old Hebrew saying: “When one cries, the other tastes salt.” Lastly, the “S” stands for “awareness of subtleties”. HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor; they can pick up on the minutest things. Unfortunately, that means that they are also the kind of people who will wake you up at three A.M. to tell you that they hear a tap dripping in the kitchen two floors down.

As you can see, being an HSP is about far more than emotional reactivity. I would like to address the two big elephants in the room when it comes to HSP stereotypes.

The first assumption is that HSPs must be undercover introverts that wanted a fancier name. The fact of the matter is, 30% of HSPs are actually extroverts, which means we cannot park them in the convenient “quiet wallflower” category, HSPs come in many shades of pastel.

Secondly, because of the supposed femininity of HSP traits, many assume that HSPs are women. It may come as a surprise that 50% of HSPs are, in fact, men. In our society, men are not supposed to be sensitive but aggressive and competitive. Sadly, the notion that men can be both sensitive and strong is still too much of an alien concept.

Now, it is a good time to tell you that I don’t think HSPs are better or worse than anyone else; they are simply different. I would also like to point out that despite the rumors, that they are not members of “The Special Snowflake Society”, and also, HSPs don’t have a secret handshake to identify each other either.

HSPs are like everyone else except that they experience the world in a more vivid way. And if you think that all HSPs are alike, that is not true; no two HSPs are the same. Every HSP has their own unique sensitive fingerprint alongside other identity markers like gender, ethnicity, and cultural and personal background. I would also like to point out that being an HSP is not an illness, and it is also not a choice.

It is a genetic trait. We are essentially born to be mild. Everytime you tell an HSP they are “too sensitive”, it’s like telling someone with blue eyes that their eyes are too blue. Chances are, no matter how often you tell them, you’ll still have the same blue eyes looking back at you.

As a society, we have come to think of sensitivity as a flaw; an unfortunate, emotional Achilles heel, that tempers with our ability to become evermore optimized, detached, and robotic. We all too readily belittle the idealists, the dreamers, and the creators. This was, however, not always the case.

In previous centuries, philanthropists, philosophers, poets, artists, and painters were all venerated for their sensitive contribution to society. Who would we be without Leonardo Da Vinci or without a Mozart? Without Anaïs Nin or Balzac? Or Mother Teresa or Ghandi? Our world would certainly be a shade darker.

Now, I’m not suggesting that all HSPs are geniuses that shape the world.

But, most HSPs have a genuine urge to create connection and meaning. Because they feel every pain they see, they want to elevate the forgotten and save the misfortunate. When HSPs try to hide their sensitivity to fit in, we all lose. For would a society not be poorer that lacks the beating heart of sensitive creation? That discredits imagination, intuition, and empathy? I believe so. That is why I think we need to urgently start to accept and appreciate sensitivity for the temperature regulating effect it has on an often hot headed world.

I believe we’re all sensitive to different degrees and in different ways. HSPs are simply at the far end of the spectrum. That is why how we think and talk about sensitivity concerns all of us. We need to come together as a society to rewrite the negative cultural narrative about sensitivity, and turn it into a positive one. We need to erase the notion that sensitivity is a weakness to finally benefit from its many strengths. By doing so, we will create an environment where everybody is safe to express their softer side, not just HSPs.

How can we go back to creating more positive awareness and acceptance for sensitivity? On a public level, I believe the two most urgent changes need to happen in schools and workplaces. In schools, we need to better train our teachers to recognize and understand sensitive children. And for parents and teachers alike, the often well-meant desire to toughen them up, to survive in the big, mean world out there, needs to stop.

We should not try to force sheep into wolves’ clothing.

On a corporate level, the system is set up to favor those with steel elbows. Because sensitive people typically are more soft spoken and co-operative instead of competitive, they often get left behind on the corporate ladder. To change this, we need to create an environment where all personality types can flourish, and not just a select few. That is why I believe, for corporations, it is in their own best interest to invite sensitive people to the table. Because without sensitives they risk lacking innovation, integrity, an, ultimately, humanity.

On a personal level, we can all make an impact simply by refraining from judging the delicate difference of the sensitives around us. The next time you feel like telling someone, “You’re too sensitive!” I would ask you to stop and pause. Fill that pause with understanding. You will see that the simple act of acceptance will uplift both of you.

To my fellow HSPs, I say: Take heart and be unashamedly yourselves. Stop trying to toughen up. Stop hiding; you’re beautiful as you are. Don’t feel weird, because it’s not you who can be considered wrong but rather a world in which corruption, violence, and greed are the norm.

As Krishnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” When I was a little girl, I loved chasing butterflies in our garden and I admired their fragile beauty. I felt a deep urge to protect them, so I decided to trap them in little mason jars filled with grass and flowers, to keep them safe with me in my room. I quickly understood: butterflies do not like captivity. This made me understand: they did not need to be rescued, Their colorful contribution to the natural ecosystem was exactly as it should be.

Similarly, HSPs should not hide away from the pain of this world in a protective incubator. It is their role to step up and share their sensitive gifts with all of us. I believe, as humans, we are all united by our experience of sensitivity and empathy. Also I don’t believe you need to be an HSP to care and to make a difference.

We are facing grave political, cultural, and environmental problems today. Now, more than ever, we need the contribution of sensitive minds and hearts to pave a path for troubled times ahead. The more we all allow ourselves to connect to our innate sensitive gifts, the more we can heal ourselves and the planet we live on.

Inspired by John Lennon – who perhaps wrote the biggest sensitivity anthem of all times with “Imagine” – let me close by saying: Please, don’t tell me I’m a dreamer, for I know I’m not the only sensitive one. Have faith that you’ll join hands with me to make this world a gentler one.

Thank you.

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マイク
TEDまとめ(1):エキスパートたちが贈る極上のメッセージ ライフハックとしてではなく、英語学習にも極めて有用なのが、著名人が10分程度のプレゼンを行うTEDです。 TED Talksと...